I think I'm years away from shitting my shoes.

Two times today I peed, then stood up to pull my pants up without wiping and I'm pretty sure this is how dementia starts. One day you're going to the bathroom like a normal person and the next day you stand up and forget to wipe.

When my grandma started showing signs of dementia, my cousin's wife (a nurse) told us she would eventually not know what everyday items are used for, like someday she might look at the stove and throw some dirty laundry in there and burn her house down.

We were concerned, so we asked Social Services to do an in-home evaluation of her to certify we weren't completely mad for letting her live alone. She passed their tests, then a few days later poured fabric softener on her cornflakes, shit herself and answered the door to sign for a package with no pants and diarrhea on her shoes. We got a call from adult protective services.

I think I'm years away from shitting my shoes, but I do have moments of intense confusion that leave me momentarily unsettled, like today when I forgot to wipe my piss. Twice.

I also frequently drive around autonomously and spend about 3 terrifying seconds wondering where the hell I am before I figure it out.

There are so many more examples I'm going to talk about when I remember them, so check in again. I'll update this post as they come to me.